Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
It sounded bad.
So bad, in fact, that it was just the sort of thing you’d expect from California.
My home state has a certain reputation — especially among those who don’t live there — for taxing its inhabitants,
This week, there came news of a potential new tax, one that sounded so Californian as to border on parody.
And a million accusing Eastern fingers pointed toward the west and its serial predilection for socialized nonsense. (I’m not sure how many of those fingers came from East Coasters, how many from Russians and how many from Russians who had emigrated to the East Coast.)
The essence of the tax lies in the fact that people have stopped talking on the phone so much.
Yes, California currently taxes phone calls. It dedicates the revenue raised to providing the least fortunate with some sort of telecommunications service.
It does the same with other utilities, too.
The phone call revenue has, naturally, fallen as telephonic talking has fallen, so the state proposes taxing texts. Doing this, says California’s Public Utilities Commission, could raise $44.5 million.
Which leaves one small, painful detail: Not many people send text messages.
You might think you do, because texting has become a generic term for constantly saying things in writing to people via your phone — only to occasionally be misunderstood.
Yet the majority of people use iMessage, WhatsApp or even Facebook Messages. These are sent over the internet.
And, if California suddenly decided it now wants to include these over-the-web services in its tax proposals, does that mean it can start taxing every email?
Now there’s a delicious revenue-generating idea that could instantly finance so many Californian projects and deter people from sending those dreary reply-all emails that plague business life.
Naturally, phone industry lobbyists are drinking — I mean, working — late into the night to prevent California’s proposal from being instituted in a vote on January 10.
Should it pass, there might be enormous confusion, with users assuming that all their phone messaging is being taxed?
What if they stopped texting altogether?
That simply wouldn’t be the modern world anymore.